Too many times in my life the smallest hurdle has been enough for me to throw in the towel and go back to the beginning, and wait for the race to finish without me. Fear of failure kept me from even trying. Avoiding tryouts, not coming out to anyone, not going to parties…ugh… At the moment the hurdle is Hokie, trying to gain my attention while I write this blog; nudging my hands away from the laptop keyboard so that I’ll scratch behind her ears.
And from now on, I’ll write here knowing next to no one reads this, and it won’t bother me anymore. I’m about to embark (hey this sounds corny already) on probably the most challenging adventure of my life and it’s something I’m doing for myself. Not to make others proud of me, not to prove anything to anybody, but something that will bring me some huge measure of fulfillment that I’ve never experienced before.
I’m going to the Baltimore Orioles fantasy camp January 26, 2014 in Sarasota, Florida.
I realized a long time ago I didn’t have the talent to play major league baseball, but that didn’t stop me from dreaming about it. And whether or not I did have the talent, I never would have known because I gave up before I started, and there was the little procedure called “knee reconstruction” I endured when I was 16. I did play for 4 years in Maryland in an adult baseball league, comprised of has-beens, never-weres, and wish they coulda-beens….along with a few guys who just wanted time away from their wives and girlfriends, who probably had no business being on a baseball field (or maybe they had the dream, too. Who am I to judge?) My few moments of glory consisted of striking out an ex minor leaguer for the Orioles (me striking him out would explain why he became an “ex” professional) and hitting a homerun & winning the MVP of our league all star game.
However, that was 15 years and 50 pounds ago, and that was only one game a week. If I’m to play two games a day for one week, with guys who used to play every day for lots of money, I don’t want to embarrass myself.
(Insert Rocky workout-montage music here)
The dream will never be over, but it’s time for me to wake up and do this thing.