Some of us have the support of their family and dozens of friends; the useful ones of which call on a daily or weekly basis expressing genuine concern, not making the contact out of guilt..but then, how are we to know their motives? Overthinking it can send one to an early grave.
Some of us use a bottle of booze or pills. It blurs the reality that can be as unsettling as watching a bag of puppies floating down a raging river, when you have no ability to swim or to call for help. How I came up with that imagery, I have no idea.
The rest of us fall into a routine and pretend nothing happens that is of consequence. The next day will come and the next will, too. Sooner or later, the time that passes without anything coming of it will slam on it’s brakes and you’ll rear-end it, and you’ll have to take notice. Then time will march on, and you’ll wonder where it went. Unfortunately, misused time can’t be found on page 235 of some book, or under a rock, or at a bar or in a bottle. Too many of us keep looking in the same places.
I’ve had to come to grips with the fact that not everyone sees me in the center of their universe. I don’t matter to most people; maybe in some small way I’ve made some contribution to their betterment, but I’ll never know. The ones that express gratitude are the life long friends that few of us can be lucky enough to claim. I’ve dwelled on trying to be everyone’s life long friend; tried to matter to everyone. It can’t happen.
Some have measured their life’s worth on how much wealth they’ve acquired, how much land they’ve conquered, how many women they’ve bedded, or how big the house they live in is.
I don’t have but one degree. I have a modest house, and a small business. I never got to play professional baseball. I was never aggressive enough to do as much as my parents did. A lot can be said for those who grew up with nothing and did it on their own versus those who had it handed to them.
I just want to be able to sleep at night knowing there is someone out there who thinks my being around did them some good.
Give me a call, let’s go see a movie. I’ll buy.